Why? Why? Why?

I’ve come to realize I may never understand “why”. But I keep asking “why?” The reason to know why would be change the outcome and that can't be changed. So I need to stop asking why. It’s just hard to accept that there is no more Mark, only memories. I grieve for myself and for his family losing him, but because I feel sad that he had to feel such hopelessness and despair. A friend of mine sent me a book that I devoured, Finding Your Way after the Suicide of Someone You Love by David B. Biebel and Suzanne L. Foster. I recommend it to any survivors of suicide.

Ode to Mark

Guitars. Kid Rock. Collective Soul. Grimaldi’s chocolate covered potato chips. Adirondack chairs. Outback. These were a few of Mark’s favorite things. Now that he’s gone, they bring tears to my eyes. He was a good brother and friend to me. Mark was talented. He could turn wood and nails into anything. He once built a spiral staircase and told me he never had to use math so much as he did then. He could play guitar by ear and it sounded like he was reading music. He loved music, especially rock. He was generous. He practically gave away his last work van. He was funny. He could do impressions of friends and famous people. He could tell a story and make anyone laugh. He was a good father. He took his boys to the movies, the flea market or to the park while his wife studied. Mark was a quiet, sensitive man with a big heart. I will miss our hour-long phone calls. Rest in peace brother.

What A Story!

What a story! Sex, murder and secrets dominate the plot over seven days. "Lovers & Players" by Jackie Collins starts with a meeting being called by controlling billionaire Red Diamond, whose manipulative behavior has determined the fate of his sons’ lives as well as any others who cross his path. His character is easy to hate while his sons' crazy lives are sometimes easy to identify with. The story intertwines the lives of an aspiring singer and an heiress. I couldn’t put this book down even though the ending was somewhat predictable. I can imagine three sequels based upon the lives of those touched by Red.

Vote from the Heart

I'm so glad I voted via absentee ballot. No matter how you vote, I hope you vote with your conscience. Check out this video that doesn't tell you "who" to vote for, but gives you some guidance.

A Visit from Osteopilus Septentrionalis

I awoke to the sound of tapping on my window screen the other night. At first, I thought our nocturnal cat was leaning against my window. I turned on the lamp and looked out the window. The shock of a huge frog jumping up and down inside the screen made me scream. My husband woke up and I told him he had to get this frog out of here or it would end up in bed with us. It jumped from the window sill to the floor and kept jumping about a foot and a half high alongside the wall. So, he got a rag, caught the frog and put him outside. Then, I realized it was one of those Cuban tree frogs and he should have killed it. They’re not indigenous to our area and have been known to wipe out other frogs, lizards and insects. They’re a threat to Florida’s natural ecosystem. I remember someone saying there is a “humane” way to euthanize this frog. University of Florida’s web site says to spread sunburn ointment or benzocaine on the frog, put it in a plastic bag, freeze it, and then, dispose of it. Well, I guess we have some frog hunting to do.

That's Incredible!

Did you know today is World Egg Day? Funny, because I had scrambled eggs topped with cheddar cheese today after eating boring cereal for seven days. Not only were they tasty, but they stayed with me until lunchtime. I was wondering about the fat and carb grams so I read the carton label. One egg contains only 70 calories, 15 grams of saturated fat, 6 grams of protein, and 1 carb gram. Not bad. I usually cook them in a frying pan sprayed with Pam Olive Oil to save on more fat. Some other interesting facts about eggs:
• Contain 13 vitamins and nutrients (in case you forgot your vitamins)
• “Incredible, edible egg™” slogan has been around 30 years (now I feel old)
• Europe has domesticated hens since 600 B.C. (that's a long time)
• Most eggs are laid between 7:00 and 11:00 AM (why do the male roosters crow so early then?)
For more incredible egg info, go to: www.aeb.org.

A Mother's Love and Principles

I just finished reading an amazing love story: Trudy's Promise by Marcia Preston. This tender story begins with strong-willed and principled Rolf defecting from East Berlin and leaving behind his wife and child in hopes that they’ll join him later. His wife, Trudy’s determination to move her family to West Berlin drives the rest of the story with emotional insights. As the reader, I found her fearless determination courageous and admirable, yet scary at the same time. Author Marcia Preston does a good job helping the reader to identify with Trudy and her actions. When she describes Trudy’s trek through the tunnel to West Berlin, I could well imagine the humility of having someone tuck my skirt into my underwear to keep it out of the way. I could almost feel the sting of scraped knees from crawling through the dirty, rocky passage. She continues with pictorial descriptions of Trudy’s shabby clothes and meager living arrangements on the west side. Not only are her descriptions vivid, but she brings to life the real history of communist Germany in the early ‘60s. The real focus of the story shows how strong a mother’s love is and how far she’ll go to be reunited with her son without compromising her principles. This was a wonderful story that I will not forget.