Permanence?

I’m beginning to think more about the concepts of forms, consciousness, and permanence. Every “thing” is just a “form” and we are conscious souls according to Eckhart Tolle, author of “A New Earth.” That reminds me of the story of how and where my husband and I met, dated and were married. We agreed to meet for drinks on a blind date at a Mexican-chain restaurant, “El Torito”. Years later, that beautiful stucco and tile roof building was demolished and a Best Buy and a parking lot were built in its place. On the same evening that we met, we enjoyed pizza across the street at a locally-owned Italian restaurant called “Page One”, also the place where my sister held her wedding rehearsal dinner two years earlier. Years later, that restaurant was demolished and replaced with a “Barnes and Noble” bookstore. Our first kiss was in the parking lot of a comedy club inside a Ramada Inn which is no longer in operation. My husband and I dated for a couple years. He proposed to me after dinner at The Crow's Nest, a riverside restaurant that's since been domolished. I’m sure there were other establishments that have come and gone. We were married at St. Joseph Catholic Church, which was remodeled and looks quite different, but still stands. On February 13th, we will celebrate our 21st wedding anniversary, so we are permanently united souls no matter what forms remain.

In Search of Tahini

I love to try recipes and a big recipe book came with my son’s new Magic Bullet blender. I decided to make homemade hummus. The recipe is fairly easy, except for one elusive ingredient, tahini paste. Tahini paste is actually ground-up sesame seeds. After checking the ethic foods aisle and the spices and dressings aisle, I asked a Publix supermarket employee where to find it. He took me to the produce section, but couldn’t find it there. Then, he said, “Wait a minute, let me go up front and ask someone.” Minutes later, while I hung out in the produce section, he came back around from the other side of the store and said it’s on aisle three (the ethic foods section). I followed him and we both searched again. No luck. Of course, I didn’t really know what I was looking for. He thought it was in a tube. I thought it might be in a jar. It might have been easier to make my own, but searching for sesame seeds might be another story. Then, he left to ask another employee who came down the aisle and pointed right at the seven-ounce yellow can on the top shelf. I thought it was a bit expensive at $7.49, but felt obligated to buy it. So, we’re going to be making a lot of hummus.
Whether you make your own tahini paste or buy a can, the hummus recipe is:
1 can (14 oz.) of chick peas a.k.a garbanzo beans drained
1/3 cup chicken stock
3 cloves of garlic (I put in 4 and it was too garlicky)
2 Tbs. lemon juice
3 Tbs. tahini paste
Blend. Salt and pepper to taste. Pour into a bowl, drizzle olive oil, and sprinkle with paprika. Serve with warm pita bread triangles. Wa-la, just like the Greek restaurant.

Freezing Feet in Florida

I went to see ICE! yesterday in Florida. Two million pounds of uniquely sculpted ice are displayed at nine degrees Fahrenheit. The Gaylord Palms Hotel creates this huge icy playground for families and kids like me. I couldn’t feel my toes or my nose after walking through this amazing attraction. I wore the long blue parka they provided and my own scarf and gloves, but should have brought a face mask and worn 2 pairs of socks. It was really cool. A marvelous winter wonderland. You have to feel it to believe it.

This photo is me waving from the ice candy house.

Rom-coms and Your Love Life

I’m a romantic--I admit it so this study's claim surprised me: “rom-coms spoil your love life”. What’s a “rom-com”? Oh, short for romantic comedy. Anyway, the study states that watching romantic movies can give you false expectations in your relationship. For example, you might believe your loved one knows you so well that you don’t need to communicate. “Maid in Manhattan”, “You’ve Got Mail”, “Runaway Bride” and “Serendipity” were mentioned as part of the study. I thought romantic comedies help us to appreciate our significant other more, even give us some good ideas. Some of my favorites that have probably helped my love life are “How to Lose A Guy In Ten Days”, “Love Actually”, “PS I Love You” and “Must Love Dogs”. So, I wonder if the same claim can be true for romance novels? That’s another study.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

I’ve discovered a new "old-fashioned" way to bond with my 15-year-old son. We’ve been watching Christmas shows and movies on TV each night. I sacrificed watching my father’s favorite “Charlie Brown’s Christmas” to watch “Santa Clause II”, but spending time laughing together was priceless. Our family (all three of us) ended up watching “Elf” on TV even though halfway through we realized we have it on DVD. I think we enjoyed talking through the commercials. Other good Christmas movies we’ve spent time together seeing: “The Santa Clause”, “The Ultimate Christmas Present”, and “Christmas Vacation”. I wonder what we’ll see tonight. It’s his choice.

Why? Why? Why?

I’ve come to realize I may never understand “why”. But I keep asking “why?” The reason to know why would be change the outcome and that can't be changed. So I need to stop asking why. It’s just hard to accept that there is no more Mark, only memories. I grieve for myself and for his family losing him, but because I feel sad that he had to feel such hopelessness and despair. A friend of mine sent me a book that I devoured, Finding Your Way after the Suicide of Someone You Love by David B. Biebel and Suzanne L. Foster. I recommend it to any survivors of suicide.

Ode to Mark

Guitars. Kid Rock. Collective Soul. Grimaldi’s chocolate covered potato chips. Adirondack chairs. Outback. These were a few of Mark’s favorite things. Now that he’s gone, they bring tears to my eyes. He was a good brother and friend to me. Mark was talented. He could turn wood and nails into anything. He once built a spiral staircase and told me he never had to use math so much as he did then. He could play guitar by ear and it sounded like he was reading music. He loved music, especially rock. He was generous. He practically gave away his last work van. He was funny. He could do impressions of friends and famous people. He could tell a story and make anyone laugh. He was a good father. He took his boys to the movies, the flea market or to the park while his wife studied. Mark was a quiet, sensitive man with a big heart. I will miss our hour-long phone calls. Rest in peace brother.